Lighthouse Island is an old leftover pilot script, from the usually reliable genius Jerry Juhl, with a few hints of the energy and whimsy that made Jim's film experiments so consistently watchable. Unfortunately, it has more of the nonsensical dreamlike quality that frequently made those experiments hard to love. (Obviously, your mileage may vary, but I can't imagine ever watching Timepiece all the way through more than once. I love the energy and spirit, but it feels so undisciplined as a whole.)
Before we start properly discussing it, I'd like to talk about that opening narration. This special has seen several airings and releases since 1989, and apparently they all remove Jim's opening comments. In a show which desperately needs humor, I really like the juxtaposition of Jim saying "It's an ordinary little town" over that shot of a little girl taming a polar bear. And, without the narration, the opening scenic shots are picturesque (I totally want to visit this little town in Nova Scotia now), but maybe a little boring, polar bear or no.
And while he's here with us, let's discuss that bear. Look at that puppet. Standing still, it's perfectly believable. I feel a little churlish pointing out that its movements are distractingly imperfect, since the performer, Gord Robertson, is clearly a gifted mime. (He played Pa Gorg, among other Henson parts, and [along with the other two main Gorg body performers] even puppeteered Johnny 5 for Short Circuit 2! I can't help but wonder -- was he on set playing with Gerry "Doc" Parkes' priest?) I know a little bit about how those full-body costumes are performed, and can imagine the short time available for filming. I picture Robertson inside the bear, sweating and struggling to smooth out his motion. The problem is, I shouldn't be picturing that -- I should be seeing a polar bear.
The townspeople on Lighthouse Island are distracting in that same way, too. Each one seems to have several distinguishing quirks (this one's the bartender with the frog brooch and the parrot on his arm -- that one's the guy whom light never touches, with Jerry Nelson's voice) but it all feels prefabricated, deliberately whimsical for whimsy's sake. If the series had been made, I assume each character would've had more depth and development, and then maybe I could be drawn into human stories. Instead, we get this:
I'll say this: it's a great image. But, at the risk of hammering this nail too hard, it encapsulates what's wrong with the episode. Like the show's hero, we've just completed a tiring task (in our case, watching a grueling unfunny allegory about pollution), and we'd love refreshment (say, a charming, funny fairy tale). Instead, we get something both weird and unpotable.
The story is about a young man (Chris Makepeace, who was in Meatballs and My Bodyguard a decade earlier) trying to find a wedding present for his penpal/fiancee. Zeb Norman is headed to the shop of a mysterious woman, whom the townspeople seem to think is some kind of hexing witch, to get a pair of silver slippers.
Clara, the witch (played by, hey, Chris Langham's mother!), sets Zeb a task -- a different mysterious person has something she wants, something she has a dubious claim to, and Zeb must help her retrieve it if he wants those shoes. So they take a journey to Hog Island, and along the way they're attacked by a sea monster.
It just so happens that the sea monster is the man with that thing, which just so happens to be a magical transformation pearl. As a huge eagle and a tentacled beastie, Fred the shape-shifter (also Jerry Nelson) continues to attack Zeb and Clara, until they find and retrieve the pearl. They eventually return to Lighthouse Island as dawn breaks, and Zeb's fiancee finally arrives.
When we first see Rosalie, Zeb's fiancee, this is how she looks. She promises to tell him stories of the sea. His fortune included only a fish.If you've never seen a fantasy movie, or heard a fairy tale, it may surprise you that Rosalie turns out to be a mermaid.
It didn't surprise me. But the second twist, revealed just seconds later, DID manage to surprise me, and feels like a satisfying conclusion to Zeb and Rosalie's story. Plus, Clara's transformation pearl, which we can assume she would put to some nasty use, is conveniently etched out of existence.
My enjoyment of the second twist almost makes me feel guilty for disliking the special as a whole. Almost. Perhaps it's my lack of enthusiasm for fantasy in general, but I can't help wondering practical things. Do mermaids and mermen wear a lot of sweaters? Can they swim well in them?
And even more practically: If I had a transformation pearl, and wanted only one thing in life, to become a merman, why would I trade that pearl, with a lifetime of magic, to a petty villain-in-training? The silver slippers only have one trick, but Zeb has seen firsthand just how powerful the pearl is. Maybe I just don't belong in a fairytale universe, where a handshake with even the most morally dubious person must be honored, no matter the cost. Maybe I'm just too jaded as a media consumer.
It's entirely possible that, with a heavy rewrite, this could've been a charming early 70's fantasy TV series. After all, Juhl and Henson were nearing the peak of their imaginative powers then. But, like a fish in a glass of cider, I just can't swallow it.
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