My Big Ol' Cartoon List.

So, how's it been going? I've been doing well, but all my media (and food) reviews have been going on my Facebook page. So you can head over thataway. (I don't like friending people I don't know in person, but all those posts are set to public, so go wild.)

On my 40th birthday, my wife and I sat home and watched a random classic movie from my DVDs-To-Be-Watched pile. It turned out to be Singin' In The Rain, which is absolutely delightful. And so over the course of that year, I watched the 100 Best Movies of All Time (as decided by Jim Emerson). Then, I wrote up a capsule review for each one (or, at least, 72 of them, and the rest are coming soon).

This year (I'm one week into year 42), I'm watching the best cartoons of all time in chronological order. I have two lists. The list of shorts came straight from Jerry Beck's choices for his book (which I haven't read yet but am awaiting via The Pony Express). (I'm considering a third, secret, list of about ten documentaries, but haven't put it together yet.)

The list of features was a lot harder. I couldn't find a good one, so set out to compile one myself. It's deeply flawed, and has a serious case of recency bias, but it's what I've got. (The shorts will help cure the worst recency problems, since almost all of them predate 1970.) Before I get to the list, here's a roundup of my main sources:
TimeOut Magazine (A list of 100 including lots of critics and animators' choices.)
Complex (A group listing of 50)
Ten For Adults (A BBC roundup)
Ten Greatest (From The Guardian)
Richard Corliss (50 Best from Time Magazine)
50 Best of the 21st Century
Elle Magazine (32)
Two lists of stop-motion films   -1-  -2-
40 Best European
I also consulted Metacritic, the Annie Awards, the Academy Awards, the Saturn Awards, and this list of early features. Before doing all the math, I also compiled a list of my 30 must-sees, to fill any gaps in the math. (Features with an asterisk by the score came from that list.)

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Title (Year, Total Score)

The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926, 10.1)
The Tale of the Fox (1930, 6)
The New Gulliver (1935, 0*)
The Seven Ravens (1937, 0*)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937, 17)
Gulliver's Travels (1939, 2*)
Pinocchio (1940, 21.5)
Fantasia (1940, 20.8)
Dumbo (1941, 23.7)
Bambi (1942, 18)
Saludos Amigos (1943, 1*)
The Three Caballeros (1944, 3.5*)
Song of the South (1947, 1.5*)
Cinderella (1950, 7)
Alice In Wonderland (1951, 2.5*)
Peter Pan (1953, 1*)
Animal Farm (1954, 7)
Sleeping Beauty (1959, 4*)
101 Dalmatians (1961, 13)
The Jungle Book (1967, 8.5)
Yellow Submarine (1968, 22.1)
Charlotte's Web (1073, 0*)
Heavy Traffic (1973, 7)
Robin Hood (1973, 5.1)
Fantastic Planet (1973, 14.2)
Allegro Non Troppo (1976, 8)
Watership Down (1978, 17.7)
The King and the Mockingbird (1980, 8.4)
The Secret of NIMH (1982, 15.2)
When the Wind Blows (1986, 11)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988, 20.9)
My Neighbor Totoro (1988, 24.4)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988, 12.9)
Akira (1988, 21.7)
Alice (1988, 11.9)
Kiki's Delivery Service (1989, 7.6)
The Little Mermaid (1989, 21)
Only Yesterday (1991, 8)
Beauty and the Beast (1991, 28.8)
Porco Rosso (1992, 8.7)
Aladdin (1992, 21.7)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993, 24.6)
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993, 8)
The Lion King (1994, 22)
Ghost in the Shell (1995, 10.5)
Toy Story (1995, 31)
Princess Mononoke (1997, 19)
Perfect Blue (1998, 8.6)
Mulan (1998, 8)
South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut (1999, 18.4)
The Iron Giant (1999, 24.4)
Toy Story 2 (1999, 13.1)
Chicken Run (2000, 18.8)
Metropolis (2001, 7)
Shrek (2001, 11.7)
Spirited Away (2001, 40.8)
Millenium Actress (2001, 10)
Waking Life (2001, 18.6)
Monsters, Inc. (2001, 23.4)
Finding Nemo (2003, 28.7)
The Triplets of Belleville (2003, 31.5)
Tokyo Godfathers (2003, 6)
The Incredibles (2004, 30.9)
Corpse Bride (2005, 6.1)
Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005, 31.3)
Paprika (2006, 12.7)
Ratatouille (2007, 29.1)
Persepolis (2007, 31.7)
Sita Sings the Blues (2008, 11.6)
Waltz With Bashir (2008, 23.2)
Kung Fu Panda (2008, 9.4)
WALL-E (2008, 32.5)
Coraline (2009, 22)
The Secret of Kells (2009, 5.7)
Mary and Max (2009, 10)
Up (3009, 31.4)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009, 29.5)
The Princess and the Frog (20069, 2.5*)
How to Train Your Dragon (2010, 16.5)
The Illusionist (2010, 11.9)
Toy Story 3 (2010, 31.4)
Chico & Rita (2010, 6.7)
Tangled (2010, 7.6)
Rango (2011, 9.5)
Paranorman (2012, 6)
Wreck-It Ralph (2012, 13)
Consuming Spirits (2012, 9.2)
Ernest and Celestine (2012, 10.7)
The Wind Rises (2013, 7.6)
Frozen (2013, 12)
The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013, 9.6)
The LEGO Movie (2014, 21.6)
It's Such a Beautiful Day  (2014, 24.8)
Shaun The Sheep Movie (2015, 5.7)
Inside Out (2015, 19.3)
Anomalisa (2015, 14.9)
Zootopia (2016, 10.1)
Your Name. (2016, 8.3)
Coco (2017, 12.2)
The Breadwinner (2017, 3.1*)

If you feel like buying any of these films, please consider using this link. I'll get a few pennies if you do, to help me buy all the films I don't already own. Thanks!

Savory Saturday: Lay's Everything Bagel Chips

Hey, I'm back! And so is the Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" group of food outliers. Let's dig in.

The "Everything Bagel With Cream Cheese" chips don't smell like much of anything, which is a shame. I actually put my whole nose into the bag, and mostly smelled the bag and maybe some fried potatoes. (Okay, I'm fighting the dreaded summer-cold, but that can't account for ALL of it.) The cream cheese is front and center in the taste arena, with all the other things hanging waaaay back. I guess it's too much to hope for the taste of an actual bagel in a kettle chip, but I can't even tell much about the seasonings. (The ingredients list includes actual poppyseeds, which of course leads me to speculate that consuming enough might cause a drug-test malfunction, but people who would eat that many of these chips have bigger problems.)

Of the three new flavors, this was the one I was most excited for. With the kettle chip texture, I even held out hope that we might get those wonderful crunchy bits of blackened onion, but this is a letdown there too.

No matter -- I've got two more new flavors to try, and I'm sure to really like one of them. Oh, and speaking of things I'm sure to really like, I'm off to see the live Mystery Science Theater tour tonight, and I'm finally restarting those reviews here in the next week.

As usual, the buy link is a ridiculous price, but these are currently available ALLLLLLL over the country, so you shouldn't have a hard time finding them at a local store.

Savory Saturday: Sopa Azteca and Tacos Vegetales

Hi, all. It's April, and I'm back from my vacation. I ate farrrr too much unhealthy food, most of which was delicious indeed. This is the only review I'll be writing about my vacation food, though. My wife and I have a tradition of eating in the San Angel Inn at Epcot, which has some of the best restaurant ambiance anywhere in the world.

Sidebar: Not that you asked, but the ride which begins alongside this restaurant has gotten a big upgrade in recent years. I last rode it in 2013, and since then the finale video-screen has been replaced by animatronic figures of The Three Caballeros. They're ancient, in audio-animatronic terms -- they've existed in basically the same form for 46 of the 55 years since Disney started producing AAs. But, they give the ride a real sense of climax. My absolute favorite theme-park blogger, Foxxfur, had this to say: 

The initial climax of Gran Fiesta Tour was just another screen in the back of a stage, and I always found the animation on that final screen to be less inspired than the rest of the animation in the attraction, and especially weak compared to Ward Kimball's masterpiece song sequence from the 1946 film. There's now something that neither El Rio nor Gran Fiesta Tour had in that space: a real sense of payoff, that you rode the boat and reached a goal for a darn good reason.

Sometime since my last visit, there's been another change. The restaurant has finally stopped serving my old favorite, the duck tacos. It seemed wrong to eat duck outside the entrance to a ride which contained a dark joke about Donald's cousin being roasted and served to diners, but they were always tasty. I got a vegetable taco plate instead (and, as you can see, Donald seems happy about the change). The vegetables were well-seasoned, and blended well with the cheese and crema on top. 

I also got the tortilla soup, a perennial favorite of mine in any form. Besides the broth and tortilla strips, it also has avocado, peppers, and cheese. (You can read the official descriptions of both from the menu here.) As always, the ambiance was more impressive than the food here. (But how could it not be?) If you're ever in the area, and have both the funds and even a slight appreciation for Mexican food, I recommend this restaurant with all my heart. Why not make a reservation now?

March's Food Model Spotlight

In honor of Saint Patrick's Day, all the food models for March have been green. In order of their appearance:

The Funko Pop Godzilla is a huge, bulky guy. Like most of the Pop figures, he isn't very articulated. In fact, no part of him is movable at all. I was lucky to be able to balance a potato chip on his arm in one review. But, he looks adorable, and is scaled up from most of the Pop characters.

Playability: 2/10.   Displayability: 8/10.

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Next, the Kidrobot Morbo is a fun guy. I loved the series of Kidrobot Futurama blind boxes, and spent way too much trying to get all my favorite characters. (I ended up with three Frys, for example.) Morbo can turn his head, and rotate his arms. It's not a lot of articulation, but even those few points give him some personality. He even comes with a little accessory of Dr. Flimflam's Vein Cream.

Playability: 5/10. Displayability: 7/10.

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On to our loscannic friends. Naveen is just an accessory, really. He comes alongside the Funko Pop Tiana figure. He can't move or pose at all, really, just sit there. He's scaled just right to sit beside Tiana (and her costars Louis and Dr. Facilier). Still, I think the Funko Pop style works well for this tiny frog.

Playability: 2/10. Displayability: 6/10.

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Finally, Kermit and Robin.  I loved the old Palisades Muppet collection (speaking of toylines I spent far too much on), and was excited to see the new Diamond Select versions in person. They're ... different. I liked the option of the bases for the Palisades figures, which made the characters much more poseable. On the other hand, Diamond has made Kermit extremely articulated. By my count, he has 18 joints! (Robin has 5.) Unfortunately, he doesn't stand very well, so I had to lean him against things for all his photos. Even more unfortunately, his eyes aren't right. It's hard for toymakers to mass-produce Kermit and get the thickness of his pupil-slits correct. (That's also my main complaint about the current Pez design.)

Robin, however, is great. The Diamond Robin looks great, and he can pose well. (The old Palisades Robin was fine, but he could only sit.) But perhaps most importantly, you can get Kermit and Robin (and Bean, who will be showing up in this space next month, and a stool and a banjo -- the more expensive comic-shop version also has a log, a ukelele, and another chair) for like $23. The cheapest Palisades basic Kermit on eBay right this second is $25.00. 

Playability: 8/10. Displayability: 6/10.

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Tomorrow is April 1, but I promise there's no trick; just a salty food review. Oh, and another new food-modeling friend. See you then.

Thursday Treat: Caramel Cheetos Sweetos

Our froggy friends are back to taste-test the other Cheetos Sweetos flavor with me.

I like these much better than the cinnamon ones, and it might have to do with the interplay between the savory and sweet elements. I'm not a huge salted-caramel guy, but these are just delightful. I'm tempted to crush these and sprinkle them on a dish of vanilla ice cream.

Kermit and Robin both appreciated the sweetness of these, though I don't think Kermit's suggestion to add them into dragonfly-ripple ice cream sounds very good.

Naveen doesn't get much junk food, being married to a brilliant chef and all. The only intelligible thought he had is, and I quote: "Eating the whole bag would be nice, yes?"

Yes, it would.

I'll be back tomorrow to talk for a few sentences about all of the green food models that visited this month.

Tuesday Birthday Treat: Party Cake Peeps

You might've noticed that the nonfood posts are a little light on the ground these days. Well, I'm secretly out of town, celebrating my lovely wife's birthday. Let's see who wants to help celebrate.

Why, it's a whole army of frogs! Kermit, Naveen, and Robin all came by to try the first of many different Peeps I'll be eating over the next five weeks.

The first, and most important thing, about these Peeps is the smell. When I opened the package, I got an overwhelming whiff of buttercream frosting. The rest of the experience is kind of a letdown, sadly. The marshmallow and sugar coating taste pretty much the same as usual, sadly. Still, that smell is great.

I'm in a hurry, since we're pressed for time this week, so this review will be just that short (sorry not sorry). More food, and more frog friends, to come!

Saturday Salt: Lay's Beer 'n Brats

Greetings, puny earthlings! It is I, Morbo! Prepare to hear my review of these potato chips. They are flavored with hops and salted meats, for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws. I gave them to Fawn and the kids, and they couldn't believe it. They were delicious! Pathetic human?

Thanks, Morbo. Hi, folks, it's Mark again. Morbo's right -- these chips are pretty good. The mixture is heavier on the beer than the brats (for some reason, it's real beer flavoring, which I didn't expect). But, these still have that unctuous hot-grease mouthfeel you get from a fresh-grilled sausage, which is a pretty good achievement. In fact, these are so rich that I don't think I'd eat these alongside a sandwich.  Back to you, Morbo.

Morbo has enjoyed this visit to Earth, and the tour of the tiny humans' snack foods. Now, humans, prepare for Morbo to destroy this entire bag of tiny potato slivers! 

While Morbo is finishing off the chips, I better sign off. He hasn't threatened me personally yet, but I know it's just a matter of time. Thanks for tuning in this week. Next week, another green friend (it's March, and all the food models are green) will help me try more snacks.

Thursday Treat: Cinnamon Sugar Cheetos Sweetos

Today, Morbo and I are trying out the Cinnamon Sugar Sweetos. These aren't new for 2017, though I think the seasonal egg shape might be. I've seen the Sweetos brand around since at least last Christmas, though I hadn't gotten around to them until now.

They're ... saltier than I expected. I know Cheetos is a savory brand, but there's almost too much savory in this blend. I like cinnamon sugar as a rule, but these are, oddly, not sweet enough for my taste. (I might prefer just dry Cinnamon Toast Crunch straight out of the box.) What's nice is the calorie count -- this decent-sized bag is just 140 calories (or two Peeps Oreos), probably because there isn't too much actual sugar.

Morbo didn't care for the texture of these, since they have the same give of most cheese puffs. (He and I agree that Cheetos are a superior snack because of the crunch, which for some reason reminded him of puny human bones.)

Still, the taste isn't unpleasant, and the egg shape is nice. I have another flavor of these to try next week, and I suspect Caramel goes better with the savory nature of these. So I'll keep you updated.

(As usual, Amazon expensive. Find local store. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.)

MST3K #604: Zombie Nightmare

It's #604, with more delinquents and a baseball-bat-wielding zombie.

Our movie this time is a low-budget Canadian rock-teen-horror-baseball-voodoo film (yes, ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE), featuring Adam West and Tia Carrere. A chunky baseball player stops two young punks from raping a young woman, and one of them stabs him to death, right in front of his son. Then, years later, his grown-up son prevents a robbery and gets coincidentally run down in front of the store. The new young punks (one is the son of the second, non-murdering punk from the prologue, and is also a rapist) drive off, leaving the son to die in the street. His mother calls on the young woman from the prologue, who luckily is a voodoo witch (there are lots of those in Montreal, doncha know?) and they revive the son. He's not really himself, though, just a vengeance-bent zombie.

Why you should always call before you dig.

There's a young cop trying to solve all the teen murders, and his boss (Mr. West, there), seems to know an awful lot of the players in this case. Since, as it turns out, he's the stabby rapey punk from the opening, and the old baseball guy gets zombified just long enough to drag him down to hell.

The movie is pretty bad, but it kinda knows it. (Or at least the creators did -- the DVD special feature has several of the stars talking about their reflections on the MST version of their film, and how much they liked the show even before they were on it.) Adam West wasn't quite in full self-parody mode yet, though that time wasn't far off. As a result, his character work and mustache are enacted seriously, even his breakdown during the scene pictured above.

A deleted scene from Batman Vs. Soup.

And since Adam's in the movie, it's only right that Mike and the bots spend a lot of time talking about Batman. Crow's even written a sketch about it, but he threw it out, so Mike's wearing those tiny shorts for no good reason. Besides all the obvious Batman jokes, there are also a decent amount of jokes about the Canadian setting (David Steinberg, Andrea Martin, Bob and Doug McKenzie, and even The Kids In The Hall get called out).

Sidebar: Boy, do I ever wish the Mads didn't wear that makeup for their voodoo phase. Okay, maybe even the makeup would be okay, but the Screamin' Jay Hawkins bone-in-nose getup is just so tasteless.

This is my second episode in a row to mention: The NRA, Peanut Buster Parfaits, Chi-Chi's, Frankenstein, an Orlon sweater, Elvis, and ABBA. It's the third to mention Happy Days (four out of the last five, and now retired). And three out of my last four episodes have mentioned The Dilly Bar (that's it, all Dairy Queen references are retired too).

A (dark) joke I had to look up: "Were they the Tonton Macoutes?"
A joke that didn't age well: "He's doing the Nestea Plunge!"
My favorite joke: "George Romero's Casey At The Bat." (Honorable mention to the garage door closing: "That's a really trivial use of her dark powers.")
Overall, I rate this one 6/10. The movie is too dark to see, too noisy to hear. The riffs are on point, but the movie is a tad too serious for me to fully enjoy.

Up next, I'm watching #616, Racket Girls.

Tuesday Treat: Peeps Oreos

Today, Morbo and I are trying the new Peeps Oreos, a mad-science concoction that shouldn't work at all. I was all for them, though Morbo took some convincing. (He was worried that, at 70 calories apiece, the cookies would go straight to his gigantic forehead.)

The creme filling is supposedly the flavor of Peeps, though your basic Peep just tastes like sugar and a little vanilla. I don't know that these taste that different from a standard Golden Oreo, but the pink really pops, and as a whole they are just fine to me. When I asked him how he liked the cookies, Morbo would only shout "Morbo is PLEASED!" So there's that.

If you like Golden Oreos, junk-food mashups, and the color pink, then Peeps Oreos are made just for you.

(The Amazon link below makes you jump through a few hoops to buy the cookies, like being a Prime subscriber, and adding 5 more grocery items, so maybe just find them at a local store instead, if you prefer.)