25 Days of Christmas #7b: "Marge Be Not Proud"

Well, holy crap, here's my last Christmas Simpsons, and boy is it ever good. It's "Marge Be Not Proud."

This doesn't appear on my compilation DVDs, which is why I watched it so far out of order. It's amazing to me just how different this show is from "'Tis The Fifteenth Season," the previous episode I reviewed. First, the story is simpler, but it's so much richer. Earlier in the span of any TV series, you can run out of character moments and things to do with the characters. The Simpsons compensates, first, by having hundreds of characters, and second, by externalizing more of the stories as the show gets older, with most of the plots and settings and jokes coming from outside the main body of the show proper. I don't want to go so far as to call that a weakness, but in my opinion it doesn't do anything to deepen or enrich the show, just extend it.

So, Bart wants a new, hyperviolent videogame for Christmas, but it's $60 and Homer and Marge can't promise him he'll get it. He becomes convinced that the only way to get it is by shoplifting, and he quickly runs into the brick wall of store security, and a quick PSA from Troy McClure. He does his best to hide his crime from his parents (especially Marge, who's been annoying him lately by treating him like a young little kid). Of course, nothing remains hidden in Springfield, and upon learning of Bart's theft, Marge becomes convinced she's caused this problem with overcoddling. Her solution isn't to punish Bart, but to start treating him more like an adult.

So Bart gets left out of a few wintry traditions, and by the time he wants to make a snowman of himself, all that's left is the gray slush on the bottom of the car. Marge isn't treating him with love at all, as far as he can see. He comes to the conclusion that he must make amends, and gives Marge the only thing she wanted for Christmas: a good picture of Bart, which she can use to mend the family portrait spoiled by the aforementioned store detective.

I wanted to write pages and pages of just how rich and emotional and funny this episode is, but I don't have to. There's a great review over at The AV Club that spells out most of the points I wanted to make, including the one about how Bart's new portrait brings balance back to the family.

There is one more wonderful piece of visual storytelling not mentioned there that deserves attention. The main part of the show ends with this shot: the Simpson house, with Bart's crummy gray snowman becoming clean and bright again, thanks to Christmas magic. Bart has been restored as a part of the family, not just with them, but made of the same stuff as them too. I've mentioned once already this week how much I love "Bart Sells His Soul," but this has a similar feeling for me, with a true, emotional redemption of that badass little kid. I haven't seen "Marge Be Not Proud" before today, and I'm embarrassed about that. This is a hilarious, heartfelt, perfect show.

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 10/10. It's super-funny and character-based, with enough unspoken metaphor to really stick in your mind after.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 10/10. After all, Christmas is about family and redemption, and togetherness.

The Simpsons: Season 7

25 Days of Christmas #7a: "'Tis The Fifteenth Season"

Here's the final Simpsons episode from my two Christmas compilation DVDs: "'Tis The Fifteenth Season."

It's Christmastime at the nuclear plant, and Homer's forgotten the gift exchange. He has an unexpected windfall, though, and spends most of the money on himself, since he MUST have a talking astrolabe. Marge calls him out on his selfishness, and makes him sleep on the couch, so he's up late and able to watch "Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol." He's totally converted by McGrew's story (he isn't aware the story predates the little blind man in the cartoon), and wants to be the most generous man in town. Homer and Ned compete to be most generous, until Lisa points out that material possessions aren't the most important thing in the world, and most people in Springfield already have too much stuff.

So Homer, in an attempt to be the best Christmas giver of all time, decides to give people the gift of nothing for Christmas, and outgrinches his previous Grinch impressions. He's collected all the gifts in the town and is about to burn them, when an angry mob approaches. They're finally calmed by a miraculous star (poor Hans Moleman only had the one emergency flare, and to have it mistaken for God's healing touch isn't good news for him), and Ned reads us a bit of scripture.

Finally, Homer sums up his Christmas beliefs of peace and goodwill: "Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic, but others don't and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen." This isn't quite Linus Van Pelt reading us the Gospel of Luke, but Homer's words aren't important. What matters is Homer had another in a long line of well-intentioned, soulful breakthroughs and tried really really hard to be a good person. In his attempts to be good, he started from a place of selfish materialism, moved to generous materialism, and through generous anti-materialism, before landing on his final middle-ground of mostly selfless, if questionable, faith. (I feel the need for a disclaimer here: Christianity is not a questionable faith, as faiths go. Homer is just not a very faithful or thoughful person, and his words get most of the good things about Christmas wrong.) We can all be selfish and materialist, and December is the one time of year we are guaranteed to be reminded that both those positions are traps that endanger our emotional well-being.

This is a VERY good Christmas Simpsons indeed, and I think it's a combination of the heartfelt message of self-improvement and generosity with the constant parodies. There are parodies of six specific Christmas specials embedded in the text of this episode, which makes it closer to an episode of The Critic than classic Simpsons. I love The Critic, and wish they'd done a Christmas episode ("The Nightmare Before Hannukah" is a great, funny clip, but not nearly long enough) .

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 9/10. A lot of people will tell you the series started going downhill very early, and I haven't seen a lot of the rest of this season, but this specific episode is funny and character-driven and earns its emotion and sentiment.

As a Christmas show, I rate this 10/10. It's Simpson-ized, but practically every second of this is about Christmas, and its heart and brain are both in the right place. 

The Simpsons - Christmas 2  The Simpsons: Season 15

25 Days of Christmas #6b: "Dude, Where's My Ranch?"

Here's another episode with only a tiny bit of Christmas in it: "Dude, Where's My Ranch?"

The Simpsons are out caroling, singing to Snake and his family (they're not related, just his hostages), to Krusty and his father the rabbi, to Burns and Smithers, and to that Blue-Haired Lawyer, who points out that many Christmas songs are legally protected by copyright. Homer goes home to write his own Christmas song...

...but Ned shows up and irritates Homer so much that Homer gives up and instead writes a very insulting song about Ned. He sings it for his buddies, and also David Byrne, who happens to be passing through town. David Byrne, who's always interested in outsider art and the culture of less-sophisticated people, insists on recording the song and turns it into a hit. The omnipresence of the song forces the family out of town, so they visit a dude ranch with no TV or radio (except when Maggie wants to dance to Britney Spears).

Homer and Bart meet a Native American tribe, whose homeland has been flooded by a new dam, built not by a heartless government, but by vicious swarms of beavers. Homer and Bart try to fight off the beavers to help the Native Americans reclaim their homes. Meanwhile, Marge has met Cookie, the cook, and Cleanie, the cleaner. Cleanie, naturally, is voiced by Andy Serkis and is reminiscent of some pale, cave-dwelling, ring-lover whose name I can't quite recall.

Oh, and Lisa falls in love with Luke, a sensitive, liberal cowboy. He's a little older than her, so it doesn't surprise her to find he has a girl coming to meet him. Heartbroken, Lisa intercepts the girl and sends her down a "shortcut" through the spooky woods, only to find the girl is Luke's sister. So, with the help of Bart and a group of outmatched beavers, Lisa saves Luke's sister and confesses her misdeed to him.

Lisa's romance is shattered, and David Byrne went off with Moe (the second hostage situation of the episode), and the family's week at the ranch is up. Well, until they hear Moe's Byrne-produced pop song on the radio, that is, which leads to a quick U-turn and another week of vacation.

I still have two links below this for you to buy this show, but I don't think I recomend "The Simpsons Christmas Volume Two." It has four episodes, two of which only have six minutes of Christmas-related material put together. Luckily, the final episode, and my next post, is all-Christmas-all-the-time, and is pretty good to boot.

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 7/10. I love Lisa stories, and this is a great story for her: she's precocious but still too young to really be wise. At this point in the show's run, the stories whipped around at breakneck speed, but there's still well-honed craftsmanship to the comedy.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 2/10. The one-fifth of the runtime that's devoted to Christmas is great, Christmassy stuff.

The Simpsons - Christmas 2  The Simpsons: Season 14

25 Days of Christmas #6a: "Skinner's Sense of Snow"

Finally, "Homer vs. Dignity" isn't the top post on my blog any more. Here's our next Christmassy Simpsons: "Skinner's Sense of Snow."

A terrible winter storm arrives while the Simpson family is attending a fancy French circus. All the schools in the area are closed, but Principal Skinner is proud of keeping Springfield Elementary open whenever possible. A single classroom full of kids bother to show up, and all the teachers are off caucusing, so Skinner runs the class himself. He shows a beloved holiday movie, about "a grinchy little character who tries to steal Christmas."

But Skinner's favorite Christmas movie doesn't star a delightfully grumpy green monster; it's from 1938, and the production values aren't very high. Oh, and it appears to be over four hours long. The kids finally get a reprieve when the DVD catches fire, only to find they're snowed into the school.

Homer borrows Ned, and Ned's car, and part of Ned's roof, to try to plow the road and free the kids. (What's that? You want another Mr. Plow callback? Well, you've got one, complete with "His name was Stampy. You loved him."-style twist.)  It goes about as well as we expect Homer's plans to go, so they're frozen by a fire hydrant and hallucinating from the exhaust. In the meantime, Skinner has a Vietnam flashback and rules the school in an orderly, military fashion, until Bart gets the upper hand and the kids rebel.

As the kids run amok, burning books and looking at their permanent files and the school's payroll, Skinner gets Nibbles, a classroom hamster, to deliver a message for help. Nibbles frees Homer and Ned, so they can skid into a convenient salt silo and melt all the snow. (Nibbles only has two appearances on the show -- the other is in "She of Little Faith," as Bart and Homer's model-rocket astronaut.)

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 7/10. It doesn't have a lot of the deeper character moments or metaphor or commentary, but it's perfectly funny and well-crafted.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 7/10. There aren't a lot of decorations or music, but there's a lot of snow, and I love The Christmas That Almost Wasn't But Then Was.

The Simpsons - Christmas 2  The Simpsons: Season 12

25 Days of Christmas #5b: "Homer vs. Dignity"

Okay, I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this. Frankly, I almost didn't write this post at all, but it's on my Simpsons Christmas DVD, and I watched it, and there will be some good to come out of this, possibly.

That's right, it's "Homer vs. Dignity," the episode in which Homer is violated by a panda. I really thought I was the problem, at first. I watched a whole lot of these episodes in a marathon, and I thought, during this episode, that I should take a break. I'm glad I didn't -- this would leave an awful taste in my mouth.

So, to sum up, Homer is broke (again), and Smithers is out of town for a while (again), so Mr. Burns hires Homer to take Smithers's place (again). Mr. Burns pays Homer mostly to pull pranks, like the time he apppears naked in the park, shocking an old lady (patterned after Margaret Dumont), or the time he dresses up as a panda, which I think I might have already mentioned.

There's about two minutes of Christmas content in this episode, which involves Homer dressing up as Santa (again). Mr. Burn wants Homer to throw fishguts at the Thanksgiving parade audience, rather than gifts. And, Homer finally makes a halfway good choice. I say halfway good because, though he doesn't accept the money and spoil Santa for everyone, neither does he do anything to stop Mr. Burns.

This is widely regarded as one of the worst Simpsons episodes ever, and I don't think I can argue -- if you want us to believe the heartwarming redemption story, that's one helluva tonal swing from panda rape. (For the record, I don't feel offended by outrageous comedy in general. My dislike for Family Guy is artistic rather than moral or high-minded; it's just not funny after about six minutes. Also, I kinda like the ending of Multiple Maniacs, which I think we can all agree is much more offensive on all levels, even artistically.)

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 1/10.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 0/10; I was promised a Christmas present, and got fishguts and panda rape instead.

The Simpsons - Christmas 2    The Simpsons: Season 12

25 Days of Christmas #5a: "She of Little Faith"

Still behind schedule, but still plugging along. Here's the next episode I watched: "She of Little Faith."

Inspired by watching a movie quite like Plan Nine From Outer Space, Bart and Homer launch a series of rockets, one of which ends up destroying The First Church of Springfield. The church, in desperate need of funds, turns to Mr. Burns, who sells adspace and sets up moneychangers in the church. (Speaking of which, if you're buying anything on Amazon today, click through on my link first, and I might make a few pennies. Thanks!) Fed up with the materialism, Lisa storms out of the church and goes seeking a new path to God.

She finds herself in a Buddhist temple, where Richard Gere schools her on the faith, and its nonmaterialist stance. Lisa soon pronounces herself a Buddhist, which naturally upsets her parents. Well, okay, Homer's upset because Bart isn't buttering his bacon, but Marge is distraught. Soon, Christmas comes, and Marge hopes that a few well-placed bribes will accomplish what maternal guilt cannot.

Lisa can't take the bribe, though, and storms off again to the temple. Luckily, Richard Gere points out that Buddhism doesn't forbid celebrating Christmas, and Lisa's free to spend the day with her family.

Religious observances are full of danger for those of us who have changed faiths. Many of the joys of Christmas come from ritual and tradition, but family rituals can be upset if a member stops participating in some or all of the fun. Families can build up new traditions, and retain the nonreligious ones (my mother and I are picking out her tree this week, for about the tenth year in a row), without forcing anyone to compromise their own beliefs. Of course, this takes time, and the balancing act is hard from both sides. The good news is, Christmas is also about love and understanding, and time spent with family can be done lots of different ways. I'm lucky that, despite my retail work-schedule, I get to spend lots of time with my family, close and extended, friends and in-laws, over the next month. And for me, that makes a Merry Christmas. I can only wish the same for you, dear reader: may your holiday, whatever it is, be filled with love and friendship.

As an episode of The Simpsons, I rate this 9/10. It's a lasting character enrichment, with a complex, funny story to tell.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 7/10. It's this low only because the first half of the episode doesn't seem to take place at Christmastime, with no snow or songs or mentions of the holiday.

The Simpsons - Christmas  The Simpsons: Season 13

25 Days of Christmas #4b: "Grift of the Magi"

Here's a mostly-Christmas episode next in the lineup: It's "Grift of the Magi."

So Bart has a drag-related accident, and busts his tailbone. But Springfield Elementary has no accessible ramps for his new wheelchair! Luckily, Fat Tony has a construction company that specializes in charging for said ramps, and before you know it, the school is shut down for lack of funds. Since this is nine years before McDonald's would start sponsoring report cards, how can they raise the funds? Well, there's a group willing to run the school. But they sure do like to talk about toys!

In fact, that's all they want to talk about. Lisa's punished for drawing Venn diagrams (fight the power, sister!), and quickly discovers the group running the school is only interested in designing a hot new Christmas toy. And by hot, I mean evil. Funzo is SO evil, he's programmed to destroy other toys.

So to save Christmas, Homer is pressed into Grinch duty and rounds up all the Funzos. A quick bonfire seems the best way to go, but the evil company's security guard, Gary Coleman (played by Gary Coleman) interrupts, and there is a long and wide-ranging conversation about the good and bad points of Christmas and materialism. In the end, all the Funzos are destroyed, and The Simpsons share a nice Christmas dinner with Gary Coleman.

We're about halfway through my Christmas Simpsons marathon, and this is as good a time as any to point out that the last two episodes both reference It's A Wonderful Life and see presents burnt.  I'm planning a full roundup of recurring themes after I review all nine.

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 8/10.
As a Christmas show, I rate this 7/10. There's a lot of Christmas at the end, but less than half the episode even takes place in December.

The Simpsons - Christmas   The Simpsons: Season 11

25 Days of Christmas #4a: "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

Trust me, I know I'm behind. Working on it...

So, here's the next Simpsons Christmas episode, and boy is it good. (To be honest, this isn't the NEXT Christmas Simpsons, but it's the next one on my DVD. I haven't seen "Marge Be Not Proud" lately.) As you may recognize from the picture above, it's "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace."  Bart gets up early to open his presents and ends up destroying his family's Christmas. A quick lie snowballs into a news story that rakes in $15,000 from the town, but the car bought with all that money also goes up in flames (shortly after a Mr. Plow callback). Then Bart's story goes up in flames, and the Simpson family once again find themselves pariahs. (According to The Simpsons Wiki, this is one of twenty episodes where one or more of the family become social outcasts.)

Bart's tearful confession is a nice redemption moment for him. (I can't help but be reminded of "Bart Sells His Soul," which still has a warm cushioned place in my heart.) Eventually, the town strike upon a uniquely Springfieldian resolution: they will take all the family's stuff, and forgive them.

Christmas, at its heart, is about forgiveness, at least, as we practice it in this predominantly-Christian country. The best Christmas stories examine faith, warmth, generosity, and forgiveness. Most of those qualities can be in short supply in Springfield. The townspeople in this episode, while quick to anger when provoked, make it their own duty to find a way to forgiveness within themselves. 

I'm a lousy forgiver, most times, but constantly find myself needing to be forgiven. I don't go to church anymore, but I still think of that line from The Apostle's Creed: "Forgive us our trespasses, while we forgive those who trespassed against us." There's not a much better goal for humans, I think.

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 9/10. The show was still going strong, and there's just enough metaphor here to fuel the comedy.

As a Christmas show, I rate this 10/10. The whole episode is about Christmas, and about lots of different parts of Christmas, both spiritual and materialistic.

The Simpsons - Christmas  The Simpsons: Season 9

25 Days of Christmas #3b: "Mr. Plow"

It's not technically a Christmas episode, but it's on my previously-mentioned DVD of Simpsons holiday shows, so I watched it. It's one of the best-loved episodes, "Mr. Plow." This is from the fourth season, and unlike my previous episode, most things about the show are set in stone (most good things, anyway). This episode has two incongruous cameos from Linda Ronstadt and Adam West.

This is the second episode I saw in a row with a Batman reference, and I seem to remember this was the first burgeoning moment of Adam West's revival as a completely self-deprecating, unaware has-been-cum-celebrity.

As a quick review, Homer cracks up both of the family cars at once, and is bullied into buying a snowplow. He manages to build his plow business into a success, until Barney opens a rival plowing company.

This episode has a lot of memorable moments, and is the only episode I saw which featured my favorite Simpsons actor, Phil Hartman. I was excited to see Troy McClure in the opening moments of this show, since so often Lionel Hutz would appear in each McClure episode too. Sadly, that was not to be.

I have a vague recollection, from the audio commentary, that Matt Groening thinks one of the reasons this episode is so popular is that people never see snow on TV except during Christmas-specific stories.

As a Simpsons episode, I rate this 9/10.
As a Christmas story, I rate this 1/10 -- there's just nothing except snow, snow, snow.

I have at least two more episode reviews to write today, but I'm afraid I have to be at work in 8 hours. We'll get up to speed soon though.

The Simpsons - Christmas  The Simpsons: Season 4

25 Days of Christmas #3a: "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"

So I have two DVDs of Simpsons Christmas episodes, and I just watched all 9 of those shows in a row. Let's see how many I can blog about before I'm too tired to continue. The first episode included is the very first standalone Simpsons ever aired, "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire."

The art style and voice characterizations are still incredibly rough in this episode, the eighth one produced. You see plenty of what Matt Groening calls "twister mouth" and a lot of the character designs are far from final (Barney has blond hair!). But it's scripted very well. I've watched the first four seasons of this series repeatedly, and with audio commentary, and frankly I love those seasons more than almost everything else that came after.

For most of America (at least those of us who weren't watching The Tracey Ullman Show), this was our first introduction to our favorite yellow family, and everything in this episode has been canonized. It'll be 25 years old later this month (just in case you didn't feel old enough, dear readers).

This episode, in case you haven't seen it lately, is the one where Bart gets a tattoo, and the removal wipes out the family's Christmas savings. Homer gets no Christmas bonus, and because he cares so much about his family (that wouldn't last long), he gets a second job as a department store Santa, and ends up betting his meager pay at the dog track.

As I said, the art is really rough, and the show's style hasn't quite congealed yet, but it's good fun. If the series had been cancelled during that first season, this special would still be well-regarded as a cult classic for comedy and animation fans.

If you didn't click through on that introductory link, be sure to do so before you leave. I hadn't visited The Simpsons Wiki before today, but it's pretty good. Every episode has its own page, with subpages for references and cast and crew credits.

As an episode of The Simpsons, I rate this 9/10.
As a Christmas episode, I rate this 10/10. The spirit, decor, and spiritual themes of the season are all present and well-conveyed.

The Simpsons - Christmas      The Simpsons: Season 1