Christmas With Dave Foley #13: The Grand Finale

Dave's done a handful of other Christmas things over the years, most of which were too short to write whole blogposts about, so here's a roundup of all the ones I know about.

Waaaay back in 1996, the emotional heart of Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy took place at Christmas.

Sidebar: Remember how in Newsradio's second Christmas show, Dave and Lisa manage to visit his parents' house, but they can only stay a few minutes? It always reminded me of this scene.

In between full-length stories from the Prep and Landing elves, Wayne and Lanny had a shorter, special quest to fulfill in 2010's "Operation Secret Santa."

And just last month, Wayne and Lanny got another adventure, at Disney's Hollywood Studios in Florida, with a big projection/fireworks show, "Jingle Bell, Jingle BAM!" It's pretty standard as far as these types of things go, with a melange of quotes from wintry and Christmas scenes from the best-loved things in the Disney canon. It has a nice framing story, as the elves have to rescue Santa from Oogie Boogie.

And even more recently, just two weeks ago today, Dave appeared at a Christmas cabaret, and read a new poem, playing off one of my favorite KITH skits (which I linked to earlier this month), and it's a Seussian retelling of our frettingest, most cretinous, upsettingest election ever.

Finally, two holiday reminiscences from Dave. First, a short interview he gave for Coopers' Christmas, with a recollection of his childhood Christmases. Next, a memory of his favorite and best Christmas present.

And now, if I may, a short recitation:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Dave Foley gave to me:
Twelve bad relations,

Eleven naughty children,

Ten elves a prepping,

Nine scammers dancing,

Eight Parks-a-singing,

Seven Dans-a-fighting,

Six guest stars singing,

Five silver blades!

Four moms and dads,

Three minutes home,

Two gravied trouts,

And a Pepsi with Fibber McGee.

Thanks, Dave, for a great December.

I wish you a Merry Christmas! I wish you Happy Holidays! I wish you the best Bellini Day ever!

Peppermint Twinkies

Hey, look! It's my hundredth post on this-here weblog! To celebrate, let's get all sugared up!

The white fudge on the outside of these Twinkies is pretty perfect: it's got a tiny amount of crunchy shell, and a vanilla sweetness to replace what we expect from the cream (sorry, "creme") filling. The cake is pretty standard Twinkie, but the filling has some peppermint in it. Not as much as I expected, but it syncs up perfectly with the fudge and cake.

I really enjoy this one and, like the cinnamony Pumpkin Spice Twinkies, would gladly eat these year-round. It's been a fun month of junk food, and while nothing can beat those Cinnamon Roll Peeps, all six of the things I tried were fun and tasty.

I suppose I should write about junk food throughout the year, since I try a lot of the limited-time items anyway. (You need to have some of the Brazilian Picanha Lay's chips, if you can get your hands on them!) As they say, stay tuned.

Christmas With Dave Foley #12: Coopers' Camera

Okay, I guess I'm burned out a little this month. Sure, I've posted a lot, but some of the stuff hasn't been very good. Like this. In fact, mostly this. I guess this movie has an audience, but I'm not it. I've seen a lot of cringe comedy, and enjoyed a lot of Jason Jones' work in the past. But I didn't like the vast majority of this film, and the few bits I did like were overwhelmed by the horrific, cartoon awfulness of practically every member of this extended family.

I have two more posts to write, and I don't want to waste my energy working hard on a post about this movie -- it's already taken too much of my time. If the trailer makes you laugh out loud, this may be for you. It certainly isn't for me.

As a Christmas movie, I rate this 2/10. As I said, there are a handful of parts I liked.
As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this 2/10. I guess it's slightly better than Postal (probably), if you want to see a movie with Dave's penis.

Christmas With Dave Foley #11: Prep & Landing: Naughty vs. Nice

So the second Prep and Landing is... not as good as the first one. It spends a lot of time with new characters and relationships, and the story is more kid-friendly this time.  It focuses on Dwayne's brother, and their relationship. I like how their story mirrors the "villain" in the show, and the dual resolution of both parts is a nice touch.

In fact, it's so nice I almost want the rest of the show to be better. I like Lanny's sideline story a lot (though he gets so little screentime I question his top billing in this one), and there are some fun twists, but this is a lot less interesting to me as a grownup than the first one.


So, like the first special, this one has a bunch of Easter eggs. There's a small plush cameo from Nessie, the star of the two directors' previous short. Mickey and several princesses appear as merchandise, too. And then there are these two kids, in a scene with a mall Santa.

We get to see more of the North Pole's culture in this show, and I got a silly amusement-park kick out of their mass transportation system (and I can only hope that any one of our several "Santa's Village" parks install something like that).

Overall, this is a flawed but fun sequel to something nearly perfect. The worst thing about it is that it can't live up to the first one.

As a Christmas special, I rate this 6/10. It's certainly better than the average, and I'll watch it several more times. It's got plenty of laughs, but the laughs and the heart feel separate from each other this time, not intertwined in the same way the first one managed.
As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this 6/10. He doesn't get as much to do emotionally, and I feel like his character has a lot less Dave in it this time.

Christmas With Dave Foley #10: Prep And Landing

So why am I spending so much of this December with Dave? Well, because of this, really. There have been three Prep and Landing cartoons (so far), and Dave starred in all of them as an old-hand helper elf, Wayne. The original, in 2009, got good ratings and reviews, and a handful of awards. It also introduced us to Wayne, who's been doing his job for several centuries and is a little burnt-out. Naturally, he gets an idealistic new rookie for a partner, to play off of.

We get to explore a lot of North Pole culture, with specialized jargon (all the adult language has been replaced with jolly holiday euphemisms, which makes me laugh more than it should) and a fully-developed society. The elves all have a lot of nifty spy gadgets to help them do their jobs, which lend the special a continued air of quirky technocool, even while it's all in the service of the holiday story.

Besides the performances from Dave and Sarah Chalke and an offscreen Santa played by W. Morgan Shepperd (who played The Big Guy onscreen the next year in a TV movie), the script continually surprises. I expected this to be a lot more kid-centered and, frankly, a lot less interesting. But like the best family entertainment, there's a level of jokes and story to appeal to adults too. If, like me, you avoided this for that reason, I'd recommend giving it a try.

As a Christmas special, I rate this one 10/10. It exceeds technically, artistically, and has plenty of heart and holiday spirit. It's fun and funny, and my third viewing this week was still interesting.
As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this 7/10. Wayne has a pretty big character arc for just 25 minutes, but it's ALL about his story. Dave gets to play a lot of different tones, most of which are right in his wheelhouse.

Pumpkin Spice Twinkies

I was going to write about these beauties back in October, but I ran out of time. Lucky for all of us, these are still in stores, even as late as today. Like Jack Skellington, they straddle the fall/winter holiday season as a whole. This is the second year Hostess have made these, and this year they also brought out a cheesecake variation that sounds good.

These are very recognizably Twinkies, with the classic foamy cake we all remember. The creamy filling has a good dose of cinnamon, though. Maybe it could use some nutmeg, some more ginger, etc. As it stands, this is the second-best seasonal treat I've had this month. (I'm still craving more Cinnamon Roll Peeps, and just stocked up at the Walgreen's.) I'm proud to be taking some to a few Christmas parties this week.

You might get lucky and find some of these on eBay at this-here link.

Christmas With Dave Foley #9: Leverage "The Ho Ho Ho Job"

Dave guest-starred on a lot of TV, so it's not much of a surprise when he pops up during the most wonderful time of the year. This is a Christmas episode of Leverage, a show I've seen most of and enjoyed.

This one sees the team helping out a mall Santa who's been framed, and fired from his beloved job. Turns out the mall is hemorrhaging money, and the manager has brought in new, thuggish Santas to rob the joint on Christmas Eve. (Willie Soke would be so proud.)

Dave is that manager, and while the team races to foil the evil plan, they realize an old nemesis (hi, Wil Wheaton!) is behind the grinchy plot. Dave spends most of the episode in a nice character turn, whacked out on morphine and determined to redeem himself.

While Eliot gets a lot of time undercover as Santa (the whole episode builds up to a big five-way Santa fight), this episode belongs to Parker. I've forgotten how much I enjoyed her character in particular. She dances, speaks in an elf voice, and decorates the office Christmas tree with millions of dollars in stolen jewelry. (Plus, I love the idea that Hardison might actually have hacked the weather so she can get her snow.)

This episode also makes a handful of jolly references: Die Hard, Kill Bill, Back To The Future, and the writers even named Dave's character Eben (Santa suspects it's short for "Ebenezer").

Sometimes it's a bad idea to watch too much Christmas TV -- I'm reminded of how much I enjoyed certain shows, and want to see more again. But I'm so behind, and I've still got four more Dave Foley days to go (and big plans for January). I liked Leverage: it was mostly good fun, a light-touch wish-fulfillment show with heist-con elements. It hit a lot of my favorite entertainment buttons.

As a Christmas episode, I rate this 9/10: All the characters, and the plot, are motivated by Christmas. Sometimes a Christmas episode doesn't have much Christmas in it, but this one is wall-to-wall merry. The gift exchange at the end is a series of perfect character moments.
As an episode of Leverage, I rate this 7/10: I recall episodes I enjoyed more, with stories that reached higher levels of genre fun. But the whole team is in good form, and Parker was always my favorite character.
As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this 7/10. His character journey may not be new or innovative, but I think I mentioned how fun it is to see him enjoying so much morphine.

Christmas With Dave Foley #8: Dr. Ken "A Park Family Christmas"

It's been a while since I watched anything on TV live as it aired, but last night, Dave appeared on Dr. Ken's first Christmas episode. I've only seen two previous episodes, and I don't really love the show, since it leans into about every family and workplace sitcom cliche ever. The parts I have enjoyed are the few twists -- Ken Jeong's terrible use of street slang, and Dave's perverse glee at being such an awful pennypincher.

One of my favorite Christmas episodes (which I haven't seen in a few years) is from The Bob Newhart Show. Bob and Emily invite all their friends, and a lot of Bob's patients, over for a party at their apartment. The patients talk out a lot of their holiday issues, and end with a nice singalong. I couldn't help but remember that funnier, smarter show when Dr. Ken and his wife end up inviting a patient (hey, it's Ted from Scrubs!) to their house for a party, which of course ended in a heartfelt singalong (even Dave's character seemed to be feeling the song). I didn't get moved by much of the sweet family stuff, though a surprise gift exchange made me go "aww" near the end. And most of the jokes didn't do anything for me, though I imagine some of them would land better if I knew the characters.

In my experience, ABC.com won't let you stream shows the first day or two after they air, but [edited] the link should work now for the Americans. Or, you might get lucky here. And, of course, since it's brand-new, I won't put on a buy-link either.

As a Christmas episode, I rate this one 5/10. It's got music, and decorations, and gift talk, and generosity of spirit, and people learning lessons about the meaning of the holidays. But that's just dressing for a bog-standard sitcom.
As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this one 4/10. His tiny, one-note character is at least a fun note.

Christmas With Dave Foley #7: Dan Vs. "The Mall Santa"

What show is this? That's not a rhetorical question -- I had no idea this was a show. Apparently it was originally created for a venue like Adult Swim, but ended up on a kids' network, near Transformers and My Little Pony and Fraggle Rock reruns. Besides Dave as the main character's best friend, it also has Paget Brewster as Dave's wife, and this episode features voice actor Grey DeLisle as the mall manager, and some guy named Mark Hammel... um, Hamill, as the mall Santa.

What a show. I don't know that I'd want to watch the whole run of the series (though apparently it has a decent following), but it's fun and offbeat and weird. 

As a Christmas show, I rate this 9/10. It's got music and decorations and heartfelt reminiscences about Christmases past, and a lot of discussions of joy and generosity.

As a spotlight for Dave, I rate this 6/10. His character is interesting, but he doesn't get to do much except voice-of-reason in this episode.

For some reason, only the first season got a physical release, so your buy link is for streaming rights. Or, y'know, just watch em all for free on YouTube. Your call.

Cinnamon Roll Peeps

The Cinnamon Roll flavored Peeps are perfect. They smell like cinnamon! The marshmallow and fudge both taste like sweet, buttery cinnamon. There's even a slight yeasty undertone (this is a good thing) to make the flavor more authentic. I'm trying to keep my sugar intake at a reasonable level, but I just polished off the whole pack in under an hour. Oh well, it's Christmastime. If I can't make questionable dietary choices this time of year, when CAN I?

I could easily eat one of these every day for the rest of my life, so once again it's a good thing for me that they're still just a seasonal item. These are another retail exclusive, only available at Walgreen's. Though I imagine this time next year they'll be more places, since they are so dang good.

You might get lucky -- as I write this, there are some for sale on eBay, though the markup there will be pretty high, so you should just find some at Walgreen's if you can.